see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
