I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
