I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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