Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
