i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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