How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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