oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
