If i could tip my vagina, i would.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
