Well apparently he's into motor boating.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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