Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
