so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
don't judge my taste in strippers
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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