At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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