look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
