I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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