he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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