i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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