She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
