how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
