You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
