Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
im holly from the hills drunk
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
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