I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
