people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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