Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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