He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
