ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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