oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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