College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
PANTIES FOUND
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