i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
