first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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