Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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