I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
