you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
