Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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