Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
