I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
