Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
