she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
