don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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