I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
