Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
