Having a random hookup so left but love u
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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