Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
