I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
