Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
