You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I need a burrito and a hug.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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