dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
