Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Randomize
