Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
