Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She even gives head with a lisp.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I am available for nakedness
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
