yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
