you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
