After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you would pick up someone in the library
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
